.someone dear.

Assalamualaikum wbt

hurm… I dont know why but I think my october is so messed up right now. its only a week after my atok passed away, last 2 days (7th october), my dear sister-cousin passed away. 😦 so this post gonna be long and sad and with photos as i will be reminiscing the memories we had together.

exactly a day after my atok passed away (on 29th sept – morning), my aunt, mak chah called mum and said that her eldest daughter, kak ikin is dying. so, we all went back to Kluang (hospital kluang – the new one – actually) and visited kak ikin in ICU. then we met makchah in hospital’s canteen.

Makchah said that kak ikin gave her like ‘amanat’ before she fainted in her house a week before (idk when maybe on 22 or 23rd sept – but on the family group, another aunt asked us to pray for kak ikin on 26th sept). she said something like… ‘jangan bagi anak aku minum air gas tau mak… terima kasih jaga anak aku…’ (dont give my kids any carbonated drinks… thanks for taking care of my kids). she even asked her husband to thank her mum (her husband worked in China for the past year) so she’s been staying with her mum since last year.

on the 29th sept, around 430 pm, i went in ICU to meet her. of course she in comma during that time but i asked the nurse in charge. she said kak ikin was getting better compared to her situation in the morning. she said that they tried to stop the blood pressure medicine (?) to one to keep her blood pressure high. idk man… i hold her hand. it felts warms. as warms as her heart. then we all went back to JB.

on 7th october early morning 5AM, mum woke us up and said that kak ikin passed away. i used to silent my phone so i didnt realised her husband, abg yan texted me around 430AM telling me, kak ikin passed away. i just couldnt believed it yet during that time because a few days before that, abg yan texted me saying that Dr pulled kak ikin out from ICU to normal ward. but the thing is… she still didnt wake up. abg yan said that Dr said that she was getting better even she still didnt wake up so i had my hope high like i did imagine she come to me and say something like… ‘faha kau igt tak kau dtg tgk aku kat icu?’ i even imagine her voice tone saying those words to me ;(

i didnt get to see her for the last time as when we arrived she’s already buried but my mum did took few photos of her after the solat jenazah. i feel so sad on that day that i cried until late night remembering all the good memories with her. (i’m still crying when i write this post). LIKE REALLY REALLY SAD. of course i knew ALLAH love her more but it hits right there in the heart when pak imam said, NORASHIKIN BINTI MD ARIF, SELAMAT TINGGAL SELAMANYA KAMI UCAPKAN. so i was like this is REALLY THE LAST GOODBYE~~~~??? i’m like so confused and sad ;(

one of her lil sister, Ikah, didnt get to see her too because she in Australia (working? idk? there~) that fact also contributed to me being super sad on that day. we have a close relationship as you know… girls.. we talked a lot of things in common too. like boys /boyband / pretty things/ fashions. plus we both are eldest daughter in the family and my lil sister birthday is only a day before her (lil sis , 22nd jan while she, 23rd jan).

one of the good things that i remembered was that she always tried to bring us something if she went back to Kluang (her family used to live in Sg. Buloh before this). like tudung, hairbands, anything. during this year raya, as i said in the previous post, my family didnt go to the family event. so when she came to my house after the event, she said she made cheesekut for me  but since i didnt come, the cheesekut finished and she said she’ll make a new one if i come to her house (her family moved to kluang recently) but sadly i didnt go. (and now am kinda regret it)

i didnt know that she was sick. the first time i heard she was sick was during this year raya when she came. she even laughed when she talked about it. like, ‘kelakarkan aku boleh sakit pulak?’ she told about how the Dr still didnt able to diagnose her sickness. she’s having headache etc etc. mum gave her an alternative medicine i didnt know if she able to use it or not.

she left behind her husband and her 2 kids. Qayyim , 3 years old and Qairina, 2 years old. i still remembered she facebook-ed me asking for a good name for her daughter that starts with Q when she almost gave birth to her daughter. ;(

she always so excited and super supportive when we planned family event like that one time in Seremban and last year raya in msuit hotel. she likes to enter contests and giveaways on facebook/instagram so she always tag me and sometimes teach us how to win those contests.

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that one time when she gave me duit raya – 2010

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4th from right in blue tudung holding a baby – 2014

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her family photo during last year raya celebration – 2015

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the girls cousins

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this happen to be the last selfie we took together 😦

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…………………

 

Ya Allah, kau ampunkanlah dia, selamatkanlah dia, rahmatilah dia. Masukkanlah dia ke dalam syurga Mu. – NORASHIKIN MD ARIF, 1983-2016

and of course, you will be miss akak. i love you and i pray for your best. till we meet again, Insyallah ;( i feel bad for crying so much but…. I’m really really sad with the fact she’s no longer with us. i will cry my eyes out even when a slight memory of her came by once in a while. i will try my best to be strong. for you akak cause i know we both are fighter!!!

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