.someone dear.

Assalamualaikum wbt

hurm… I dont know why but I think my october is so messed up right now. its only a week after my atok passed away, last 2 days (7th october), my dear sister-cousin passed away.😦 so this post gonna be long and sad and with photos as i will be reminiscing the memories we had together.

exactly a day after my atok passed away (on 29th sept – morning), my aunt, mak chah called mum and said that her eldest daughter, kak ikin is dying. so, we all went back to Kluang (hospital kluang – the new one – actually) and visited kak ikin in ICU. then we met makchah in hospital’s canteen.

Makchah said that kak ikin gave her like ‘amanat’ before she fainted in her house a week before (idk when maybe on 22 or 23rd sept – but on the family group, another aunt asked us to pray for kak ikin on 26th sept). she said something like… ‘jangan bagi anak aku minum air gas tau mak… terima kasih jaga anak aku…’ (dont give my kids any carbonated drinks… thanks for taking care of my kids). she even asked her husband to thank her mum (her husband worked in China for the past year) so she’s been staying with her mum since last year.

on the 29th sept, around 430 pm, i went in ICU to meet her. of course she in comma during that time but i asked the nurse in charge. she said kak ikin was getting better compared to her situation in the morning. she said that they tried to stop the blood pressure medicine (?) to one to keep her blood pressure high. idk man… i hold her hand. it felts warms. as warms as her heart. then we all went back to JB.

on 7th october early morning 5AM, mum woke us up and said that kak ikin passed away. i used to silent my phone so i didnt realised her husband, abg yan texted me around 430AM telling me, kak ikin passed away. i just couldnt believed it yet during that time because a few days before that, abg yan texted me saying that Dr pulled kak ikin out from ICU to normal ward. but the thing is… she still didnt wake up. abg yan said that Dr said that she was getting better even she still didnt wake up so i had my hope high like i did imagine she come to me and say something like… ‘faha kau igt tak kau dtg tgk aku kat icu?’ i even imagine her voice tone saying those words to me ;(

i didnt get to see her for the last time as when we arrived she’s already buried but my mum did took few photos of her after the solat jenazah. i feel so sad on that day that i cried until late night remembering all the good memories with her. (i’m still crying when i write this post). LIKE REALLY REALLY SAD. of course i knew ALLAH love her more but it hits right there in the heart when pak imam said, NORASHIKIN BINTI MD ARIF, SELAMAT TINGGAL SELAMANYA KAMI UCAPKAN. so i was like this is REALLY THE LAST GOODBYE~~~~??? i’m like so confused and sad ;(

one of her lil sister, Ikah, didnt get to see her too because she in Australia (working? idk? there~) that fact also contributed to me being super sad on that day. we have a close relationship as you know… girls.. we talked a lot of things in common too. like boys /boyband / pretty things/ fashions. plus we both are eldest daughter in the family and my lil sister birthday is only a day before her (lil sis , 22nd jan while she, 23rd jan).

one of the good things that i remembered was that she always tried to bring us something if she went back to Kluang (her family used to live in Sg. Buloh before this). like tudung, hairbands, anything. during this year raya, as i said in the previous post, my family didnt go to the family event. so when she came to my house after the event, she said she made cheesekut for me  but since i didnt come, the cheesekut finished and she said she’ll make a new one if i come to her house (her family moved to kluang recently) but sadly i didnt go. (and now am kinda regret it)

i didnt know that she was sick. the first time i heard she was sick was during this year raya when she came. she even laughed when she talked about it. like, ‘kelakarkan aku boleh sakit pulak?’ she told about how the Dr still didnt able to diagnose her sickness. she’s having headache etc etc. mum gave her an alternative medicine i didnt know if she able to use it or not.

she left behind her husband and her 2 kids. Qayyim , 3 years old and Qairina, 2 years old. i still remembered she facebook-ed me asking for a good name for her daughter that starts with Q when she almost gave birth to her daughter. ;(

she always so excited and super supportive when we planned family event like that one time in Seremban and last year raya in msuit hotel. she likes to enter contests and giveaways on facebook/instagram so she always tag me and sometimes teach us how to win those contests.


that one time when she gave me duit raya – 2010


4th from right in blue tudung holding a baby – 2014


her family photo during last year raya celebration – 2015


the girls cousins


this happen to be the last selfie we took together😦




Ya Allah, kau ampunkanlah dia, selamatkanlah dia, rahmatilah dia. Masukkanlah dia ke dalam syurga Mu. – NORASHIKIN MD ARIF, 1983-2016

and of course, you will be miss akak. i love you and i pray for your best. till we meet again, Insyallah ;( i feel bad for crying so much but…. I’m really really sad with the fact she’s no longer with us. i will cry my eyes out even when a slight memory of her came by once in a while. i will try my best to be strong. for you akak cause i know we both are fighter!!!

.in loving memories.

Assalamualaikum wbt

Hari ni marked atok telah seminggu pergi meninggalkan kita semua. Hm… he went back on 28th sept 2016 11.35pm. Thank god we (me adik2 parents) managed to see him in his death bed. 

Earlier that night, my uncles (both pak uda and pak ngah) brought him to clinic because he said his dada sakit. He used to be a smoker so during that time, he already stop smoking for 4 days. Maybe his body got shocked or something. Then both my brothers sat beside him. Talked to him. Recites doa and surahs for him.

We (me, ojan and adik) decided to go back home first as it already 11pm (because adik still going to school) but then the moment we arrived, mum called and told us atok passed away. So I packed some clothes for mum (because i thought she wants to stay) for ojan to bring. 

The next morning, we settled everything around 11AM something and solat jenazah was done at atok’s house. Atok was buried at tanah perkuburan kebun teh.

I don’t really feel sad about this (?) idk why but i think it was because of atok went with such a good situation(?) idek how to explain it. Hehe. Of course i love my atok ❤❤❤

Till we meet again atok. Al fatihah.

This happen to be my last photo with him

In loving memories, Haji Jaafar B Mohamad (1925-2016)


.#WIR ; Demian.

Assalamualaikum wbt…

hi hello there…

on the previous post, I’ve been talking /writing about how i want to write more after I’ve finished my studies. so hereeeeeee I am. hehe ;D [awkward…..]. anyway, i came out with a hashtag for this kind of post. #WIR which mean, What I Read. basically, i will post a book/novel/magazine [? as if i read one] review? i dont know.. maybe a review but am not that qualified [am no body just a man who loves to read] or maybe what i thought after reading book/novel and what the book/novel is all about so when you read my post you might gain interest to read it? haha.

recently, BTS [my ultimate kpop group – for now – hopefully for forever] release 7 short films entitled WINGS [do check them out at youtube/ vapp. being an avid fangirl of BTS,  I’m interested to read the english literature novel [?] that they used to inspire their short films. so, I’ve been searching for the book online and came to this link.  want to know how we [armys – fans of bts] knew about the book? well, on the 1st few seconds of the short films, namjoon will recite few sentences from the book so, thats how we know. simple! hahaha.

i dont know how people gain deep understanding about the book [maybe because i wasnt not a psychology student? ] so i will explain what i understand only. hahaha. because if you scroll down on comment section for the short films you will see why i write that. hehehe.


here’s one of the book cover [there’s so many book cover for this book as it was published in year 1919.] it was a seriously long time ago. this book gained a lot of interest as at first it was being published under the name of Sinclair as the author but later on change to Hesse. Hesse is the real writer while Sinclair is the name of the main character in the book [so.. it caused such a chaos during that time – from what i read]. for me, the book is a simple english literature book because the words are straightforward. like you know how certain english literature books have a high metaphor and all? this book is easy to understand, simply said. hehe ;D

so Demian is about a boy, named Emil Sinclair. at first, he talked about how the world is separated to two different world. the good and the bad and he stated what kind of good and bad world in his life. conflict [?] started when he lied to his friends because he wants to be acknowledge [everyone does this when you’re kid – dont lie to me ;P]. then, from that accident,  he kinda being haunted by his inner self about being a bad guy [ like you knowww, we shouldnt lie and all that kind of stuff because its bad and all that…] because for him, his family [the one close to him represent a good world]. he then been chased [?] by a friend because he lied [kira macam kantoilaaaaa] and he met someone [in this case, another boy named Demian] who save  him from being bullied. when he reach teenager, he went to a boarding school and being separated from Demian, he developed a feeling of longing of Demian. so he started painting and sent it to Demian. he also met with Jacob and Pistorius. after a few years, they met again and he went to Demian house and fall in love with Damien’s mum [Eva]???. this story ends when Sinclair had to go for services during World War I.

okay, i knew some might be confused with this but i think what the writer wants to tell us, the reader, is how someone can greatly influence our self? so we must make a right choice in life? like in this book, how Demian being able to be great influence in Sinclair’s life. they talked to each other about Abel and Cain [ if you’re a muslim, you will feel familiar about this story – Habil & Qabil – Anak2 Nabi Adam AS] where Cain is shown as someone who is strong because he’s able to kill his brother, Abel as a weak person and about the God of Abraxas [ a god who mixed between good and bad]. Sinclair found similarities between Demian and Pistorious in talking about their believes [ abel & cain, god of Abraxas]. basically, this book is about Sinclair and his inner self conflicts of wanting to be a good person but then being influenced that being a bad person is okay and so.

overall, this book is great [for me], easy to understand the word [except the inner thought of the event of talking about our beliefs] and good. if you wants to read it, go ahead and share with me what you thought about it. if you read from the link i’ve given you on the early passage, you will realized that it only contains 8 chapters and at that link, you can actually listen to the book? woot woot ;O

i like how it makes me feel like am doing KUMON all over again. [i’ve been doing kumon for 2 years before i stopped because i want to focus on SPM] the reading, listening and understanding the context. huhuhu. so i guess thats all? [ i feel like this is a bad review/thoughts. hahaha. never mind. i can always improve it!] and great thanks to BTS for making me read again after like few years. LOL [ i still contemplating whether i should get a physical book of Demian or not because the price is RM60]. anyway, i will be back with more interesting [hopefully] book/novel/anything in the future.

till then, take care!


ps : i’ve been thinking to share my kpop collections later on but we will seeeeee~~~


.recap raya 2016.

Assalamualaikum wbt

ahahaha. setelah sekian lama raya berlalu, baru nak post pasal raya. raya haji pon dah lepas. hahahaha. tragis betul hidup kau ni fa weh.. anyway, nak cerita, raya tahun ni tak berapa nak merrierrrr sgt lah more to kehambaran. kenapa? hurm… adelerrr sebab2nya… takkan nak cerita kat sini pulak. kita mestilah nak show the good side jekan? hahaha. so, post kali ni nak recap raya 2016.

WARNING!!! this entry will be full with pictures and long ass description (maybe)


adik beradik betul, adik beradik susuan, abg sedara dan anaknya. lokasi ; rumah atok jalan surau.


family portrait raya 2016. without Fauzan because he works on that day. but we met him at rumah atok later on

as usual, we also went to rumah jiran atok. mak yah and cik sayed. wore red and orange on that day. makan2 borak2 as usual.


me with lil sibs


pakbusu, ayah, adik, amil

then, few from dad’s side families came to our house on Raya 5. usually, there’s raya celebration happening on Raya 4 but sadly, this year we decided not to join [my family only – reason ; something big happen in the family – my family – not dad’s side] so they came to us. hehe ;D



with my cousins [below], they moved to Kluang this year!!! yeay!!!


dad’s side families [i look so ugly pardon me]


mum’s side families

i dont remember when but my mum’s side also came to our house for raya.


ibu abah from Mersing


sedara sampai mati(?) hopefully

ibu abah ni family yang jaga kitorang mase kitorang duk mersing. diorang masa tu baru balik dari Melaka? [somewhere north] and came to our house before they went back to Mersing. its my 1st time seeing Kak AIN after such a long time? maybe more than 10 years. hahaha. i didnt go to her wedding ;( oh yeah, i also met FAZLI, my buddy during my school period in Mersing. reminiscing memories with Fazli. hahahaha. bodoh2 je teringat berebut nak naik motor lepas sekolah. mujur jugak tak berapa rapat dulu so takdelah merepek2 sangat memory nye. hahaha. because i have like quiet adventurous memories there.


FAZLI with ABAH at the back

this year, we went to BATU PAHAT. saje2 so ive decided to raya rumah HAZY, my girl i knew from REPUBLIC OF 1991. the other time, [before this] i came to her house without her being around [she’s in aussie and we only talked thru webcall? /iphone messager?/ whatever its called]. so this time, she’s arounddd. hehe ;D her mum also bekalkan kuih bakar so yummyyyyy.


pergi raya rumah HAZY



on the 14th july, we went to KL for my birthday trip. i wrote about it in previous post.



then on 17th july, my high school  buddies came for raya and my birthday celebration. so sweet of you guysssss.  yuppp i wrote about it in previous post. if i rajin then i’ll link it ;P


birthday celebration by high school buddies


rumah jiran singapore

this is the first time we went raya [without marhaban like before] to our Singaporean neighbour’s house and the foods were really good. 5 stars. uncle tu masak sedap gilaaaaaaaaaa. like you really can go crazy la when you eat. isterinya, makcik Seni [yupp such unique name there] pon mesra2 je. like you know, some singaporean [EMPHASIZING THE ‘SOME’ HERE!!! which mean not everyone from Singapore] agak kerek when they come to malaysia but this family not like that [okay maybe not because their children tak mesra sangat?] hahaha but i dont mind la. like… biasalah tu. hopefully, we can be a good friend when they fully moved here in the next few years. [which i dont know when laaaaah]


dad dgn uncle …………. [i forgot him name -,-]

lastly for raya, we went to SHAH ALAM to meet tok busu at seksyen 2? so we stayed at LAWANG SEKSYEN 14? its FAIZ’s place by the way (known as F in republic1991). for the 1st i met with eju, pene, peyi, f [even we both are admins of the forum before hahahaha] and LJ with his wife. [ i was texting LJ saying that am in SHAH ALAM and staying at lawang homestay and he said that he’s on the way to shah alam to cari makan so i pon invite la dia sekali pegi makan kat lawang]. dalam whatsapp/forum berborak macam2. dah jumpa awkward pulokkk. mujorlahhhh ade hazy. hahaha. takde ahh segan sangat.


girls @ lawang


boys @ lawang


raya at lawang with republican1991

the next day tu, kitorg pergi rumah tokbusu then wedding dekat muzium shah alam tu [belakang masjid] and went all the way to sungai buloh [mum’s friend open house] then stayed at Ampang [went to mum’s friend house, cik dang] and went to IKEA CHERAS. then only the next day, we went back to JB. [i forgot to download the pictures from tokbusu house from the group chat – its actually her son-in-law’s house- and i cleared all the photos already – what a life~!]

this raya also ade buat open house [but not really open la sb simple2 je]. masak nasi lemak, beli nasi arab, roti jala. i invited akak2 lab [kak ima, kak syarah, kak nad, kak ros – i forgot to take a picture with them. duhhhh – and congratulations to kak syarah for having a baby boyyyyyy] and mum invited her school friends.

walaupun cam hambar jeeee tapi takdelah hambar sangat, maybe hambar sebab tak banyak duit raya like before? hahahaha. like everyone duit raya collection tak begitu memberangsangkan?

raya haji pulak duk rumah je. we did qorban but oversea punya under EZQURBAN. i think thats all?

i was supposed to write more since i have finish my study but…. i dont know man.. i really wanna spill what happen to me in these few years back? not really few years la… like what happen since last year but… it might be a disgrace? haha i dont know anymore. oh ya.. i might write a review? [of what it is all about] for a recent book that i read [like finally i read something physically instead of reading an e-book/website/fanfictions lol]. so stay tuneeeeeeeeeee~

till then, take care.



Assalamualaikum wbt

apa kabar semuaaaaaaaaaa… harapnya semua baik2 sahaja. well hari  ni merupakan………



can you believe it we already reach 59th year of independence day… its so precious and i love our country so much. i hope all of us, feels it too!

so today we went to eat at SEOUL GARDEN @ Angsana for lunch. so fuulllllllllLLLLLL. and for dinner we went to SEVENTEEN CAFE @ Bukit Indah. so full also. and am so tired today because i eat too much. nothing much things i did for today except for eating and eating. haha.

till then,

take care everyone~!

.Nazeerah’s wedding.

Assalamualaikum wbt

How are youuu? Lol. Like people read it anywayyyy last 20th August, my dear friend, from SSCA 2015 got married. Basically she is someone who kinda play important role in my life? Aaaaaiihhh what am i saying? During my degree life, she is one of those helpful and kind soul who helps me. So she is important. Haha? Okay2. So she get married on the 20th at The Mines 2, Seri Kembangan. We went there (without dad of course since he is so busy with qurban things). 

We started our journey around 9Am and arrived there around 1pm? And I’m glad that i went there because i met most of my classmates there. Here some picturesss (from class whatsapp group and my brother’s gopro).

Pengantin cantik


Tengok pengantinnnnn

Free styleeeee

Everyone looks so beautiful especially the bride & groom. Heheeeeee. Too bad I can’t stay too long during that time because mum wants to go to her friend’s son/daughter wedding at The Duchess Place, Ampang which turned out bad. The place got small parking. We had to walk far and almost all the food, when we arrived around 3pm something finished already. So sad ;( plus it was freaking hot that day. We didn’t even get doorgift ;(

We decided to stay in IOI RESORT, Putrajaya that night after looking for hotel around KLCC which kinda full that day. Had dinner in Dubuyo, Ioi Mall and sleep. Super tireddddd. But yeahhh, Dubuyo kinda eatable? I can eat the kimchi there compared when i had it at Ampang Mall? (I cant even remember the place) long time ago. 

Then the next day, at 1st mum wants to go to Janda Baik but siblings dont really want so we decided to lepak2 at ioi mall,had our lunch and went to Seremban to pick up adik’s things (yes, adik dropped out of SBP and mum register her to SIGS. From SGS to SIGS.LOL) and went back to JB.

To Nazeerah (in case she read this which i highly doubt), SELAMAT PENGANTIN BARUUUUUU ❤❤❤❤ semoga kekal hingga ke Jannah gituuu. Thanks for helping me during my time in UTM. 사랑해. 

Till then,

Take care everyone!

.rijal’s wedding.

Assalamualaikum wbt

How are youuuu? Well, lets start August post with something merry? Ahahaha… so based on the title, I will talk / write about my classmate’s wedding lol. Apparently i have a weird number of classmates for my degree life but yeah… mostly with SSCA 2015? So Rijal is kinda my class representative during that time. He’s now pursuing master in engineering if i’m not mistaken and he’s the first male classmate that got married. Here’s some photos 

I came with my mum and met my friends there. (Me,shikin, timah, mekzu, piqa and leya)

We kinda wait for others to come and by the time we finish the meal, other classmates arrived and we went to Pelamin to take photos. Rijal be like, nanti jangan lupa ambil gambar tau. He like remind us more than once. LOL.

Ohh yeah we also witnessed spooning cake? Session? Ahaha.. they’re so cuteeeee! 

So sweeeeeet 😍😍😍

So cute right?

Look at Rijal being shy shy cat

Then we went to pelamin? To take more photossss

Apparently Rijal wanted to hold the present haha


I thinks that all? Haha i wished Rijal a blessing marriage ahead. Be patience. ALWAYS. haha. Its not like he read my blog anyway. I think i look super awkward lol. 

Till then. I might write about our raya trip next. MAYBEEEEE. 

Take care everyone!